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Sally Bolderson: Blog

Random Thoughts

Posted on May 30, 2014

When my mother passed away suddenly almost 3 years ago, we found a journal she had written of her life. It was truly amazing and we relished in her words and interpretations of who she was. It made me want to chronicle my life and I am constantly thinking of things that touched my being in some way. So, I thought that rather than try and process a plan for an actual book, I would just post random thoughts.

Life is so fragile, so unpredictable. I have seen struggles throughout my lifetime that, if dwelt upon too much, would put a mountain on my shoulders. But in the midst of it all, there is the core, my soul, that is enriched by a God who never stops watching over me. When I think of my soul, I picture a heart. I picture a scene where we are finished with our days here on earth and our soul is taken, hopefully to heaven. Cradled in an angel's hands for safe keeping until it meets our Lord. And that brings me to those I have lost from this earth. I watched with my fiance as his father struggled with lung cancer. We watched him fade away, literally and figuratively. He spent a lot of his final days in the hospital and since I lived within walking distance I went up to visit him almost daily. Dave was away at college at the time. I remember some days he would be sleeping and I didn't want to disturb him so I would sit there until it was time for me to leave and I would write a little note saying I had been there. He kept telling him that I should have woken him up. I just realized the significance of what he was saying.

My oldest daughter, Angela, has a brain tumor. This will eventually take her from us. We don't know when, but we know it will be much sooner than it should be. She is only 33 years old. Since she lost her vision a couple of years ago, she cannot drive so I spend a lot of time taking her places and I've noticed that lately we have been reminiscing about our childhoods. And then I realized how lonely it will be when she isn't here and how precious every minute is right now. And then I thought of my father-in-law in the hospital while his hours on earth were dwindling and that he wanted to spend every possible minute being present with those he loved. So, this is one small snippet of what's been in my mind lately. Living, being present now, while we have the chance.